How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows: A Simple Guide

Writing your own wedding vows is one of the most personal and touching ways to express your love for your partner on your big day. It’s a beautiful opportunity to share promises that reflect your unique relationship, your hopes for the future, and the unconditional love you have for one another. But where do you start? And how do you make sure your vows are meaningful, personal, and just the right length?

In this simple guide, we’ll walk you through the process of writing your own vows, and share some tips to help you stay on track and avoid the stress.

1. Set Aside Time Early in Your Wedding Planning

One of the most important things to remember when writing your wedding vows is that this isn’t something you should leave to the last minute. Between picking out flowers, planning the reception, and finalising your guest list, the weeks leading up to your wedding will likely get very busy.

Tip: Schedule some time with your partner at least two months before the ceremony for both of you to write your vows. Avoid the last-minute rush by setting a date to sit down and reflect on your relationship and the promises you want to make to each other.

This dedicated time will allow you to focus on what really matters, your words to each other, without the distractions of last-minute wedding prep.

2. Get Feedback From Your Celebrant

Writing vows that are meaningful can be an emotional process, and it’s easy to get caught up in wanting them to be perfect. But what if you’re not sure about the tone, length, or structure of your vows? That’s where your celebrant can help.

Tip: Ask your celebrant to be the one you both send your vows to for crosschecking. Your celebrant will help ensure that your vows are the right length and maintain the right vibe for your ceremony. They can also offer suggestions to help you fine-tune your words, ensuring they sound sincere but not overly rehearsed.

It’s also important to note that your celebrant is there to guide you. They’ll be familiar with the overall structure of the ceremony and will make sure your vows fit smoothly into the flow of the day. This can be incredibly helpful if you’re unsure about how long or detailed they should be.

3. Don’t Stress Over Perfection - Keep It Real!

We all want our wedding vows to be heartfelt, meaningful, and memorable, but let’s be real this is your wedding day, not an Oscar speech. If you’re feeling stressed about getting your vows just right, consider an easier option that still feels personal and fun.

Tip: If you’re short on time or want to keep things lighthearted, consider reading prewritten vows with personal twists. For example, you could both read the same promises, but with a mix of serious and silly vows that make each other smile.

Here’s an example:

1. Serious vow: “I promise to love you unconditionally, through every up and down that life brings us.”

2. Serious vow: “I promise to always put you first, no matter the circumstances or challenges we face.”

3. Silly vow: “I promise to always start closing the kitchen cupboards so you don’t have to ask me.”

This way, you’ve got a combination of heartfelt promises and a little lighthearted fun. Remember, vows are meant to represent who you are as a couple and the relationship you’ve built, so don’t be afraid to make them as authentic as possible!

4. Keep It Personal and True to Your Relationship

When writing your vows, focus on the moments that truly define your relationship. Think about the big milestones you’ve shared, the funny memories, and what makes your bond unique.

For example, did you meet in an unusual way? Or do you share a quirky habit or inside joke that always makes you laugh? Incorporating these little details into your vows will make them even more special and true to your relationship.

And don’t forget to include promises that are specific to your partner. It could be something like, “I promise to make your morning coffee just the way you like it” or “I promise to always support your dreams and goals.”

By keeping your vows true to you and your partner, they will feel more authentic and memorable, both for you and your guests.

5. Practice, Practice, Practice

Finally, don’t forget to practice reading your vows aloud before the big day. This will help calm your nerves and ensure you’re comfortable with the words you’ve chosen. You’ll also get a feel for the pacing and flow of your vows so you can deliver them with confidence.

If you’re nervous about speaking in front of others, try practicing with your celebrant or a close friend, so you feel comfortable and prepared on the day.

Wrapping Up

Writing your own wedding vows is a deeply personal experience, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it. The most important thing is that your vows reflect your love for each other and the promises you’re making for your future together. Whether you write heartfelt and poetic vows, or mix in a little humor and lightheartedness, what matters most is that they are authentic and true to who you are as a couple.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember that your celebrant is there to help, don’t hesitate to ask for feedback or guidance. And finally, make sure to give yourselves plenty of time to write and practice, so that when the big day arrives, your vows feel like a natural, heartfelt expression of your love.

Want more wedding planning tips or need help with your ceremony? Feel free to reach out and let's chat about how we can make your ceremony as special as your love story!